Please, No Autographs

Sunday, September 12, 2010 |

If you were tuned in to the Giants victory over the Carolina Panthers on Fox Sunday afternoon, you no doubt noticed The Old Man's and my star turn near the end of the first half. On a day in which the Giants officially opened their new $1.7 billion home, Hakeem Nicks snagged three touchdown passes and four F-16s flew over the stadium during the national anthem, the capturing of our hirsute images by an astute Fox cameraman was clearly a highlight among highlights.

Now that The Old Man and I are bonafide TV stars, we both wanted to let you know that we are not letting this sudden yet obviously sustainable brush with fame go to our heads. While offers have been pouring in (I have been approached for endorsement by the good folks at Norelco and The Old Man by Cialis) and our phones are ringing off the hook, we've decided to politely decline these potentially lucrative flatteries as not to draw undue attention to ourselves on gameday.

If you happen to see us at the tailgate or on the concourse near section 133 in the coming weeks, feel free to say hello. Contrary to tabloid reports and The Old Man's outward demeanor, we do enjoy meeting and interacting with our fans whenever possible. But please, no photo and/or autograph requests. While your appreciation of our celebrated television work is encouraging, the demands on our time that such requests require prohibit us from attending to our true business at New Giants Stadium, namely the overconsumption of meat products and the berating of unwitting side judges at the tops of our lungs. We thank you for your understanding. 

For charitable inquiries, please submit your requests in writing by emailing and allow 6-8 weeks for a response.


TheStarterWife said...

I would like to thank your Eli for the great fantasy football day.

Weinstein said...

None of the 3 interceptions were Eli's fault. All came on balls deflected by otherwise sure-handed Giants wideouts.

Hologram Olive said...

Congrats on your Giants' week 1 win Weinstein. Finally, we see you on TV!

My Falcons didn't fare so well. Guess it's back to the Mets for the week. Ugg.

See you soon, I hope.

Headsnack said...

Way to go, Shredator! Big Gabe represent.